5 Tips Alpha Male Husbands Need To Know To Be Successful in Marriage
You’re an uber-successful guy who’s killing it in the office. In fact, you might be the primary reason the office exists in the first place. You are alpha. Question, do you also want to set your marriage up for the same success, too, right?
Don’t let your winning streak stop at the office door! We want to help you win at your marriage, too and especially to avoid divorce. Relationships have their ups and downs, but if you know how to build a happy, healthy union, you’ll be prepared to weather the storms with ease.
Are you ready to learn how you can win at your marriage? Here are 5 tips to be a better husband and to help you be successful in your marriage:
1. Stay in tune with your wife’s world.
Work can be consuming, especially if you’re at the top of the food chain, but don’t let work get in the way of keeping up with your wife. Show her that you care by asking about her day and actively listening to her response. The keyword here is actively, so make sure you’re actually listening well.
Action plan: Schedule nightly catchups to spend one-on-one time together to talk about what’s going on in each of your lives.
2. Plans surprises and exciting dates to keep the spark alive.
Do you want to be the winning husband? Well, don’t ever slack on date night, or surprises, for that matter. Couples that make it are couples that are constantly introducing spontaneity and excitement into their relationship. Keep things interesting with fun gifts or by creating opportunities to do something new together.
Action plan: Do one small random act of kindness at least every other day.
3. Cut back on multi-tasking during family time.
You’re a busy guy, but does that really mean you need to bring your laptop to bed? We think not. Having distractions around during quality time is a massive trigger for arguments and conflict. When you have quality time, be intentional about it and aim to remain present and in the moment.
Action Plan: Show your partner you care by leaving the laptop in the office and putting your phone away when you’re having family time or date night.
4. Have more fun, rest more, and increase self-discipline.
Over the years, I have noticed a connection between alpha males and marital/relational problems. This advice excludes men with poor character and have little desire to change. Specifically, I’ve noticed a relationship with poor decision making in marriage with extreme pressure, fatigue, boredom, and opportunity. When we sit down for counseling, we identify a perfect storm of factors that occurs prior to the marital indiscretion, poor judgment or big fight. We craft a plan to address the triggers and the poor decision making goes away. Marriages are saved.
Action Plan: Schedule more fun and rest for yourself without feeling guilty. Alpha males have a lot of people depending on them and that pressure can be overwhelming and lead to unhealthy coping patterns (affairs, drugs, partying, etc.) that solve one problem but cause pure hell at home. Instead, be proactive and schedule fun and rest so you don’t feel so pressured that you make mistakes that could ruin your career and/or family.
Also, train for greater self-discipline so that you can resist temptation and perform clutch under pressure. Most successful men who avoid affairs and major mistakes, have a secret to success. They exercise regularly to increase stress stamina/tolerance, meditate to practice staying calm, and read the Bible (or religious book) to sharpen their character and regularly fast to improve temptation resistance. I bet you have never heard that before but it needs to be incorporated into your routine because being a uber-successful, alpha male is as hard as it is rewarding.
5. Learn how to manage your emotions.
The man’s job is to protect their wives and their children, but did you know that men should emotionally protect their family as well? Dr. Susan David defines emotional agility as “the ability to apply the right emotion to the right person (your spouse) in the right situation at the right time.”
Husbands, you’re going to need emotional agility to have a challenging conversation. Do you or your partner shut down during conflict? This is a sign that you need to learn to be more emotionally agile to avoid disconnectedness and feelings of resentment.
Action Plan: Seek out a counselor, counselor, psychologist to do emotion coaching and stress relief.
We know. You don’t need help; other’s need your help. We get it, but that is a loser mindset because it keeps you stuck at your current level of performance. Think about an athlete who desires to be at the top of his game. He pays top dollar for the best trainer to develop and strengthen his game so he can improve and consistently perform under pressure. Privately, they seek out psychologist to vent to and reduce stress because they cannot do it at the office because they are last problem-solver. Everyone, especially an alpha male, deserves a place to be heard and just hear himself think. That way, you can keep your cool, manage stress and stay at the top of your game. We all know that being clutch comes with training not luck. Dame-time (Damian Lillard reference).
So, why wouldn’t you employ this same mindset to performing at the top of your game as a family man? No amount of success at work is worth personal failure at home. Isn’t that your ultimate goal anyway? Every alpha male should want to perform well at business/career and home. We should never feel like only half of a success (great at making money but terrible at family life). We can and will succeed at both but our mindset must be focused on that daily.
Keep the main thing, the main thing. As men, we work to provide for our families and we like it (to varying degrees) but when we focus too much on ourselves, ego, status and businesses we can easily lose the family we are doing it all for. So, spend time with both work and family and you’ll be a better man, husband and legacy creator because of it.
With these five tips, you can build a happier marriage and achieve martial success starting today. Are you ready to win at your marriage? The ball is officially in your court.
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