The Reason You Are Single Is Not Because Men Are Scared To Talk To You...

Clinical psychologist and relationship expert explains three common reasons women are single and how to correct that with three simple adjustments.

Here are three honest reasons you might still be single—told with love, like I’m talking to you across the table. Not to blame, but to give you power.

1) It’s not the “pee in the dating pool.” It’s your attraction strategy.

I know it’s tempting to believe the whole pool is contaminated. But when you don’t intentionally signal value and warmth, incredible people scroll right past. Vague photos, vague bio, vague opener = vague results. Do this instead: Upgrade your first impression. Use three clear, recent photos (face, full-body, lifestyle).

Write a one-line bio that’s specific (“Faith + fitness + live music; Sunday service then brunch”). Send one bold, playful opener a day. You’ll be shocked how fast the quality changes when your signal is clear.

2) It’s not a shortage of eligible people. It’s a shortage of pro-social reps.

Your phone isn’t dry because the world lacks good men or women—it’s dry because your life isn’t placing you in enough rooms where connection happens. If you go to the same places with the same three friends and never meet anyone new, of course it feels scarce. Do this instead: Run my 3-3-3 Rule for one week—visit 3 social spaces (church/community event, coffee shop, interest group), start 3 short conversations at each, and exchange 3 contacts total. That’s 27 warm touchpoints in seven days. Scarcity fades when you consistently show up.

3) It’s not that people are “sleeping on you.” It’s that unhealed stuff leaks out.

This one’s tender. Sometimes it’s not that others can’t see your worth—it’s that stress, anxiety, or low mood is leaking through your vibe. Hyper-vigilance, pushing/pulling, flat affect, or irritability can make closeness feel risky to both of you. Do this instead: Commit to a 90-day heal sprint—therapy (or coaching), steady sleep, regular movement, and one daily regulation practice (breath prayer, grounding, journaling). You become calmer, clearer, and more emotionally available—and that reads as safe and attractive.

Bottom line

Please don’t wait for someone to “just come get you.” You’re not powerless here. Tighten your attraction strategy, become purposefully pro-social, and clean up what’s leaking. If you want my scripts, the 3-3-3 playbook, and a simple healing checklist tailored to you, I’d love to walk you through it inside The Ring Formula or simply work with you one one one drtartt@drtartt.com.