Are you in a good place with your partner to the point where it almost feels, well...boring? Or maybe you feel like you and your spouse are in a rut, or perhaps you want to spice things up. Either way, these feelings might be your signal that it’s time to take your relationship to the next level. Marriages take a lot of hard work, and there are no real secrets to the keys to a happy marriage. Deepening your relationship with your spouse takes commitment, effort, and time.
Ready to take your marriage to the next level? Here are 3 easy-to-remember do’s and don’ts that’ll help you nurture and grow a successful marriage.
1. Practice more gratitude.
Do: Say “thank you” for the big things and the little things, too. If your husband always makes you coffee in the morning just the way you like it, or maybe you love it when your wife goes the extra mile to compliment you after a fresh haircut, whatever it is, don’t forget to tell and show them you appreciate them.
Proverbs 25:11 summarizes it nicely, A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Don’t: Take your husband or wife for granted. When you’ve been together for a while, it’s easy to get into a routine and forget to be appreciative of the things your spouse has always done for you. Remember the awesome person you decided to marry and remind them why you love them daily.
2. Explore new things together.
Do: Incorporate more play into your marriage. When you’ve been in a long relationship, and the honeymoon stage has fizzled out, you can rely on doing new activities or trying novelty things with your partner to keep the spark alive. Doing exciting things together for the first time will help you feel more connected to one another.
Resource: One to the top experience that couples credit for elevating their marriage to the next level are vacations and marriage retreats. So, we combined the two just for you. Check out www.aweekendforlove.com which is the premier beachside, couples vacation and marriage retreat in the country for people of color. Our next one is happening August 27-29th so you’ll need to register soon to secure the best deal.
Don’t: Do the same old things all the time. It gets boring, and it could lead you both to feeling frustrated and unhappy. The brain needs neurotransmitter called serotonin which helps regulate sleep, appetite, mediate moods and inhibit pain. Novelty, doing new things, is what you need. So, embrace the new date, new marriage retreat, new intimate experience, new hotel, new city, new…new…new is what you need!
3. Exercise more small acts of kindness.
Do: Practice doing more spontaneous and sweet things for your spouse. Incorporating smaller (or big) acts of kindness into your daily routine will leave you both feeling overall more satisfied and happier with one another. Who doesn’t want a spontaneous back massage or an impromptu dinner date? I do! Come with it and watch my response (lol).
In fact, in our household, we have implemented a RAK (Random Acts of Kindness) system where every member of the family is scored for how many acts of kindness they demonstrate throughout the week. The goal is to produce a culture of kindness within our household to maintain a joyful home.
Don’t: Save gifts and acts of service for special occasions. Push your relationship forward by attempting to do at least one nice thing for your partner each day that you know will put a smile on their face. I recently read that a celebrity sets his alarm to “do one nice this for my wife” daily to remind him to be consistent in treating her like a queen. Shout out to you Paul Carrick Brunson!
Leveling up your marriage requires you and your partner to commit to growing yourselves and your relationship together. One of the best things about people is that they evolve, so relish in getting to get to know your partner over and over again. Find new ways to make your relationship feel remarkable and novel, and don’t be afraid of shaking things up.
If you want to deepen your marriage and keep it on track, marriage counseling is an excellent option for couples looking for expert advice. What will you do to take your relationship to the next level today?