How Strong Is Your Relationship (Marriage & Family): Three Questions To Find Out
How strong is your relationship with your partner, spouse and family?
Why do ask? Surprisingly, many people don't know because they have settled into the comfort of the relationship. However, relationships are not static. Instead, they are always moving and evolving. The reality is that relationships are active; they are either getting weaker or stronger. There is no such thing as neutral. It's like physical fitness, either you are getting stronger and more fit or weaker and less fit. Just like muscles atrophy when you don't use them, relationships do the same.
So, what I have done is present three questions for you to ask your partner, spouse and/or family members (children, siblings, etc.). The way I want you to use these questions is to present them to your spouse, friend or family member and ask them to ask you the questions and then exchange.
What some of you will discover is that your relationship needs some work, and this conversation was much needed for real growth and satisfaction. Unfortunately, some of you will be surprised that your partner or parents struggle to meet your needs and you will have a decision to make. However, at least you will know how strong your relationship really is...
Question #1: Can you tell from my behavior that you're important to me?
Yes, I know you are in a committed relationship, married or in a family but do you act like it? Do you date, have family time that everyone enjoys, go on vacations, and do live together versus ignoring one another with your phones and separate hobbies?
I know you love your special person, but do you take actions to show them how important they are to you? If not, use this as an opportunity to do just that.
Question #2: Do you feel that I respect and support your life dreams?
First off, do you even know what your partner's or child's life dreams are? We need to know so we can behave like we care about them. My oldest daughter was flipping around the house and broke a lamp one time. At first, I fussed until she told me she was practicing her gymnastics to be like Gabby Douglass after watching the Olympic Trials. It totally changed my response as a father
Second, if you if know your partner's or child's dreams, what actions are you currently taking to show support? I immediately got my daughter some private lessons so I could support her dreams and protect my lamps lol.
Question #3: Do you feel I care about you and listen when we disagree?
In truth, you are not supposed to agree in relationships all of the time. That would make you clones which you are not. From experience, opposites usually attract so you are bound to have a lot of differences. Also, most people make the mistake of thinking they have to actually agree after a disagreement. The goal, instead, is to listen and make your partner see that you feel them. If you "get" them or their position and they do the same, you will often find a natural compromise because you feel cared about above any difference in opinion.
Okay, there you have it. Let me know how this works for you and get busy on making your relationships stronger.