How To Tell If Your Teen Will Have Healthy Adult Romantic Relationships
Every parent thinks about how to make sure their kids enter into positive, future romantic relationships. There are so many challenges but we must prepare them because it is a normal part of growing into an adult. Right?
What should we tell our kids?
Does our relationship or lack thereof have an influence on who they will choose to date now and in the future?
What actually determines whether our sons and daughters will have a happy, adult romantic life?
I have answers thanks to my former classmate at the University of Michigan, Dr. Lisa Damour. She has written a best-seller, The Emotional Lives of Teens, that provides very detailed research on what every parent should know and do to encourage positive, healthy future relationships.
Researchers followed a group of young people from thirteen to thirty to determine which factors determined a gratifying love life as an adult.
Interestingly, the researchers advised parents to focus on the quality of your teenagers relationships.
Specifically, "It’s what’s happening in teen’s non-romantic relationships, not romantic relationships, that lays the groundwork for happy, adult romantic life."
Furthermore, "Researchers found that future, happy adult relationships were not linked to adolescent dating activity but to the friendship skills teens developed along the way."
I found this very surprising but it makes sense and I break it down in the video above.
So, who went on to have a healthy, adult love life?
1) Those who, at age 13, expected to be treated well by friends and could stand up for themselves when necessary.
2) Those who, at ages 15 and 16, were able to establish close friendships and get along with peers.
3) Those who, at ages 17 and 18, were able to maintain close friendships over a two-year period.
I explain this in the video further. So, what do you think? Here is the call to action. Make sure your teen is able to do each of the three main objectives to give them the best chance at healthy relationships and marriages in the future!