Saving Our Girls: Healthy Sex Education, Part 2- "The Dad-Advantages of Having an Active Father
One things that really burns me up is when society labels the victim as the problem. Society is so quick to put negative labels on girls who are sexually active but slow to deal with their legitimate need for their fathers to be more active in their lives. It is rare that you will meet a teen girl with low-self confidence who has an active dad in their lives. With my own daughters, I am constantly picking them up, supporting their activities, kissing and hugging them, and telling and showing them that I love them. This matters!
Thus, they don't have much opportunity to have low self-concept because they are getting consistent feedback from a man about how special they are...above and beyond any other girl on this planet who is not my daughter. ALL teen girls deserve this and should not be blamed when they want to feel way by the boy they are dating. They literally have been starved by their fathers and are prone to make mistakes looking for validation. Dads must call and check on their daughter first versus telling them to "call me if you need me". Children need you daily! I cannot count how many times Raquel and Trinity (my daughters 11 and 1 years old) have said, "Daddy, watch this...do this...take me here/there." I do it because they deserve it.
In this interview with renowned sex education, Jackie Brewton, I talk about why I did not even try to engage in sex with my high school sweetheart (hey Irish lol). Her dad was active in her life and talked to me about limits, self-discipline and not getting on his bad side. I took that conversation to heart despite my girlfriend having other ideas! This goes to show that dads can even stop their own daughter's desires by making an agreement with the boy she is dating to go by the "rules". There was no way on God's green Earth that I was going to defy his trust, especially after I gave him my word.
Besides, I wasn't ready for all that anyway. It's a myth that all boys want sex. I wanted to go to college, win at track, go to work, make my parents happy, stay true to my faith and have the finest girl on my arms at the same time...and I did! Besides, my mom and dad were CLEAR that there would be no sex while I was in high school! I was afraid of being a teen dad, ruining my chance a college and letting my parents down.
In case you are making me out to be a nerd in high school. I wasn't I was voted Mr. Lithonia High School because I knew who I was, who I was not and looked out for others. Irish's dad actually did me a favor because he reaffirmed my morals, provided discipline and set the groundwork for two years of awesome dating with his daughter. We never had sex and I loved her everyday because of it. No, I was never even tempted to cheat because I didn't want to lose her friendship, love or trust. Sex simply wasn't worth it.