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How To Handle Conflict In Relationships To Stop Arguing

Many couples think that not having conflict is the hallmark of a good marriage. However, even great marriages have conflict.

In fact, a little bit of conflict is necessary in relationships to ensure that neither spouse gets erased too much. Healthy conflict is needed for the relationship/marriage to stay well balanced. When you avoid conflict, it only magnifies quietly (like a dormant tumor) and does greater damage later due to months or years of unmet needs, conflict and resentment.

Both spouses should have equally high marriage satisfaction and the reality is that it requires both partners to complain from time to time. This keeps the marriage balanced and even and guarantees neither spouse gets muted or minimized. When one partner is significantly happier than the other, it hurts the balance and reciprocity of the marriage.

So, it is okay to speak up and ask for adjustments so that the marriage is not too one sided. You should do it quickly too versus allowing unmet needs and resentment to build up over time. However, like all things, there is a skill to exactly how to resolve conflict without arguing and fighting.

Conflict can be a very healthy part of marriage. However, you must master your delivery with 5 steps:

1) Start softly and compliment first

2) Ask if this is a good time

3) Say how you feel versus only what you think

4) Be brief so that there can be a dialogue versus a lecture or speech

5) Tell your partner the recipe for fixing the problem

Also, take breaks if it gets heated. I hope this helps.

Couples, how do you handle conflict to avoid fighting? Educate others…

By the way, if you want some live guidance on actually helping you and your better half argue less and resolve conflict better check out


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