Relationship Goals: How To Stop Being A Negative Thinker In Relationships & Be More Positive
- 22 hours ago
- 3 min read
Choosing Hope: How Faith Changes Your Love Life
In a world flooded with breakup stories, cynical dating advice, and constant disappointment, it's easy to lose faith in love. Maybe you've been burned before. Maybe you're watching good marriages around you crumble. Maybe you're tired of trying and wondering if healthy love is even possible anymore.
But what if the problem isn't just about finding the right person—what if it's about the lens through which you see relationships? Hope isn't denial. It's not pretending your past didn't hurt or ignoring red flags. Biblical hope is a powerful lens that changes how you interpret challenges, keeps you moving toward connection instead of pulling away, and opens your heart to give and receive love again.
Here are three ways to build healthy, faith-based optimism in your relationships:
1. Don't Let Past Pain Write Your Future Script
If your last relationship hurt you deeply, it's natural to think "Never again" or "You can't trust anybody." That mindset might keep you "safe," but it also keeps you stuck and lonely. The truth is, one painful experience doesn't define every person or every future relationship.
Action step: Write this statement and fill in the blank: "What happened with ______ was real and painful, but it does not define every man/woman or every future relationship." Acknowledge your pain, but refuse to turn it into a permanent prophecy. As Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, God has "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Your story matters, but it doesn't have to be your prison.
2. Focus on What's Right, Not Just What's Wrong
In dating and marriage, many of us default to spotting flaws, expecting disappointment, and minimizing progress. This pattern kills motivation and joy for everyone involved. When you only focus on what's broken, you miss the evidence that change is actually happening.
Action step: Once a day, name one thing you appreciate—about yourself, your growth, your partner, or your progress as a couple. For example: "I'm proud of how I handled that boundary conversation" or "I noticed how patient you were today, and it encouraged me." As 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up." Hope grows when you see evidence that change is possible. You create an atmosphere where effort is noticed, not ignored.
3. Invite God Into Your View of Love
We pray about jobs, money, and health, but we often treat dating like a game, marriage like a grind, and love like it's all on us. Without God in it, we either idolize relationships or fear them. Neither approach leads to the healthy love we're looking for.
Action step: Pray this simple prayer this week: "Lord, heal my view of love. Help me see relationships the way You do—possible, purposeful, and worth fighting for—with wisdom and boundaries." Romans 12:2 calls us to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind." When your hope is rooted in God's character instead of people's behavior, you become more discerning but less cynical.
Moving Forward With Hope
Healthy love requires a healthy lens. When you refuse to let past hurt define your future, intentionally notice what's good and growing, and invite God to renew your mindset about love, you move from cynicism to wise optimism.
Whether you're single, dating, or married, this can be the year you say: "I've been hurt, but I'm not hopeless. I'm growing, I'm learning, and I still believe that with God's help, healthy love is possible for me."
