Where The Great Single Men Are & What To Say That Makes Them Want To Pursue You
Where Quality Single Men Actually Spend Time (and How to Get Them to Approach You)
Hey — the highest-value single men in your city are not on the dating apps.
They're at the industry conference between sessions.
At the 6 a.m. run club.
Grinding at the coffee shop by the office towers.
Sharing ideas on LinkedIn, serving in the ministry at church, and relaxing at the charity gala.
Here's the problem: almost no woman with real standards is standing in those rooms, warm and ready.
I'm Dr. Alduan Tartt, licensed clinical psychologist for 28 years and ordained minister. If you want to keep growing in dating, marriage, and emotional wellness beyond Sundays, join us at transformingcircle.com.
In the video above, I walk you through all six rooms, the psychology behind why each one works, and a role-play for every single place, so you'll know exactly what to say when you get there.
Now here's the part that takes the pressure off.
Researcher Monica Moore spent years studying courtship in real-world settings and found that men overwhelmingly approach the women who signal first: a look held one extra beat, a warm smile, open body language.
See, you are not waiting to be chosen.
You are quietly doing the choosing.
Your job was never to chase him. It's to position yourself in the right room and give a quality man the green light to walk across it.
Scripture says it plainly in Proverbs 3:6: "In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
God can order your steps right into an ordinary coffee line, but you have to actually be in the line, present and open.
If you want the complete system, from the first hello all the way to a covenant, come build it with us inside The Transforming Circle at transformingcircle.com.
Watch the video, pick your first room, and go be brave.
Love you guys. God bless.
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I appreciate that you named the 6 a.m. run club and the industry conference between sessions instead of just saying “get off the apps”—that feels much more practical. The role-play for each room is especially helpful because knowing what to say is usually the hard part. By the way, I keep a supplier of construction wire, tie wire, rebar supports, anchor bolts and temporary fencing for importers and distributors I like to share. https://www.leeter.cn/resources/stucco-lath/
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This reframes the whole conversation in such a healthy way. I love that you emphasize positioning over pursuing — so many women are told to either chase or wait passively, and you've offered a third way that honors both wisdom and dignity. The Monica Moore research on signaling is spot-on; a warm smile and open posture aren't manipulation, they're just invitation. And Proverbs 3:6 lands perfectly here — God orders steps, but we still have to take them. "Pick your first room, and go be brave" is the line I'm taking with me. Thank you, Dr. Tartt.