Your Brain Could Be Lying About Needing To Be In A Relationship To Be Happy

Dr. Alduan Tartt describes how our brains can trick us into wanting relationships based on social comparison, lack of connection and/or patience. However, there are times when the pain is in tune with our actual need to be in relationships for our short and long-term happiness.

If you've ever felt invisible during Valentine's Day, Christmas, or New Year's Eve while everyone else celebrated with someone special, you're not alone—and you're not broken. Holidays magnify what's missing in our lives more than any regular day. When the world is wrapped in red hearts, family gatherings, or romantic countdowns, and you're solo, your brain starts lying: "Everyone else got chosen except you." "You're too much or not enough." But psychology research from Dr. Laurie Santos at Yale reveals your brain systematically lies about what will make you happy. Holidays amplify those lies through social comparison, environmental triggers, and "miswanting"—thinking we know what we need to be happy when we're completely wrong.

Just like Hannah in 1 Samuel, who watched year after year as everyone else celebrated while her heart broke, you might wonder if God even sees you. But Hannah's story is powerful: her waiting wasn't wasted—it was preparation. She worshiped through pain, showed up when it hurt, and refused bitterness. "In the course of time," God gave her Samuel, one of Israel's greatest prophets. Your delay is not denial. But while you wait, you can't just sit in sadness—you must work, heal, and prepare so when your season comes, you're ready.

Here's your roadmap: Protect your mental health today by limiting social media, practicing gratitude, and connecting with community. Use this season as your turning point—heal past wounds, build self-worth outside romance, get strategic about where you meet people, and date with intention not just attraction. Raise standards, enforce boundaries, stay faithful through the wait. You've cried enough. You've waited in the wrong places with the wrong mindset. Hannah's God is still in the miracle business. Your "in the course of time" moment is closer than you think. Your season is coming!

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