Help! I'm Dating A Commitment Phobic. Part 5. It's Just Not Him...It's You


Scenario #5- It’s not him, it’s you.

I am no blaming. Trust me, I am not! We all have blind spots. One potential blind spot is that you don’t really expect men to be committed or marry you due to your mindset and/or traumas from the past. So, you inadvertently attract men who are emotionally unavailable, already taken or are flat out dogs. Your feelings are now invested in this dead end relationship but it is comfortable and you date him anyway. Your logic is, “Men aren’t faithful anyway so why chase a fantasy…better to have something (bad) than nothing at all.”

In life, we don’t get what we deserve, we get what we expect! Your options are to go to counseling to change your mindset or resign yourself to date your low expectations simply because it’s comfortable. Ouch, right! You can date for comfort or date for keeps. Dating for keeps will require you to be vulnerable and take a chance at love. Yes, you could be hurt again or you could find true and lasting love. The odds are in your favor if you pick an amazing partner. Yes, this will mean that you have to step out of your comfort zone and date a new type of man! Remember, the comfort zone is a wonderful place but nothing ever grows there. To grow or not to grow…you get to decide. How liberating! Take a chance, have faith and date for what you deserve and not for what your past has trained you to expect. You can have it all!

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