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How To Have Better Relationships By Making More Friends So You Can Be Happier

An 85 year old study by Harvard indicated having fulfilling relationships as the most important factor in being happier at every stage of life.

However, what do you do when you want better relationships but don't know how to cultivate and grow them?

Dr. Alduan Tartt, Christian psychologist, provides three tips given by the New York Times Happiness Challenge for improving relationships (romantic, work, friendship, family) even if you don't know how.

Three Tips To Be Happier & Make More Friends:

1) "A Living Eulogy"- This term was coined by Jancee Dunn (author of the New York Times article- The Happiness Challenge) which basically means thank the people who make you feel special now. Why? Expressing gratitude makes us happier and improves the intimacy and closeness of our relationships. Who doesn't have room in their schedule for more appreciation?

2) Make Work Friends- A 2022 Gallup poll showed that people who have a best friend at work are more engaged than those who do not. Well, success leaves clues so it sounds like it might be time to be more interested and prosocial with your colleagues. For clarity, "work" can mean making friends at an organization, outing, neighborhood, school, church, etc.

The key is to intentionally engage with the company around you by asking open ended questions ("What are you doing this weekend?") and/or following up on something they said in a meeting ("How did your 5K race go last weekend?")

That is called being prosocial which means that you show up with purpose of giving others positive attention so you can add friendships versus simply showing up (social) or staying at home (asocial).

3) Create a Social Calendar- I like this recommendation a lot because it gives you a vision for your future and the most control over being well connected for months in advance. Create a social calendar of events, things you would like to do, experiences and pencil who friends you would like to attend those events with. Then, call and invite them to do life with you and grow.

If you don't have any friends or lack enough friends to make this work, then be intentional about adding them so you can fill out your calendar. Once a goal is set, in advance, to be social you will be compelled to be more prosocial so you don't have to attend those events alone. The pressure will bring out the best version of yourself.

I pray you like these tips and put them into action. In the Bible, this scripture really emphasizes the importance of friendship.

Hebrews 10:24-25: And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

I pray that you put these recommendations to work so you can have better relationships and take control of your happiness.

If you are looking for an event that will improve your relationship if you are a couple who is seriously dating or married, check out our Pre-Valentine's Day experience, The Love Lab, for couples in Atlanta.


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