November 8th, I am empowering 30 plus moms on how to raise boys into exceptional men as part of "Tartt Talks"! Why? Because raising teenage boys as a woman is HARD! Men understand boys and women understand girls. However, when you try to "cross raise" your child, it can get extremely difficult! A man who tries to raise his daughter like he was raised will FAIL. For instance, as a dad of a daughter, I have quickly learned that girls can be emotional without having an attitude problem (who knew?). I had to adapt and not respond as if she was being disrespectful all the time. The reality is that sometimes...she's just being...well... a girl.
The same is especially true for moms raising boys! What worked for you as a teenage girl will NOT work for your son. For instance, talk lectures work pretty well with girls but not boys. I hope you not have tried to just "talk" to your son as a form of discipline. If you did, he probably responded negatively by: 1) Ignoring you 2) Getting an attitude like you are bothering him 3) Rolling his eyes/showing annoyance 4) Disregarding you and/or 5) Talking back. Why? Well, boys think talk is "weak". How many times have you heard boys, and even men say, "All you do is talk, I bet you won't DO anything about it?" To most moms, talk IS something but not us!
So, moms, don't lecture, fuss or nag. Instead, do something that gets his attention and makes him respect your authority first:
1) Take away activities (going outside, hanging out, etc.)
2) Limit his selection of clothes (tennis shoes, shirts, etc.)
3) Time out the electronics (video, cell phone, social media, etc.) until he demonstrates the behaviors you are requesting. Don't give in until he changes. Respect must be earned, right?
There are a number of different options here and a strong bond/relationship is needed for this to work. However, the main key is to DO something to avoid coming across as weak. Men rarely just lecture boys. If they do, the lecture is more of a warning about what will be DONE if the behavior doesn't change. Boys actually respect and like that. Boys don't respond to men better than women just because they are men but, rather, because men use better techniques (action versus talk) to shape behavior. The same will work for you moms!
Want more? I have so much more! Come join me Saturday, November 8th, so we can talk about YOUR SON! I'll answer live questions about your son at the event! Register here and I'll see you Saturday!
Moms, who get the right information parent with more power, effectiveness and peace of mind that what they are doing is the right! Your son will respond and you will be a rockstar and he will be successful! "My mama didn't play" is an compliment to tough, loving moms who did something versus talked when correction was needed to make her son be successful in life."
Thank God for my mom, my daughter's mom and psychological research that helps me to be a better dad for my daughter! When I consequenced her without talking about it awhile back, she didn't respond well to put it lightly. She said, "Dad, all you had to do is talk to me." You know what...she was right! Talk isn't cheap with girls all the time. Praise God!
Accept this as my gift to women to return the favor to help you raise your sons! Here's a quick video I want you to watch too: